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WE are in month ten now of our adventures known as parenthood. Teeth are coming thick and fast, the hair is growing and nonsensical babble is pouring out of his mouth.

Movement, however, is at a complete standstill.

While other babies were rolling, Ben was playing with his own hand, while they were reaching to pull themselves up, Ben was blowing raspberries.

The nearest he has got to a crawl is misjudging his reach and ending up flat on his face.

I am not belittling his achievements in anyway - I actually find his raspberry blowing quite cute - but, for the love of God, when will the boy move?

I'm not a competitive mum, far from it, but when each kid on the group scene is practically doing the can-can in front of him, while he just stares in bewilderment, I do question whether the boy will ever see motion as a realistic proposition.

When relatives ring who haven't seen him in a while they invariably say: "Ooh, I bet he's on the move now isn't he?" To which I casually reply: "Not yet, but he did this cute raspberry thing the other day." They lose interest quickly.

When I meet up with other mums they talk about the latest toppling incidents and how their little cherub pulled out all the videos from the cabinet. All I can chip in with is the fact that Ben recently contracted conjunctivitis!

When my best friend's little girl, who is the same age as Ben, was shuffling around clutching onto the sofa for support, I caught myself thinking, would it be a bad thing to jab at her inside knee to see if she'll plonk back down again? As my finger aimed for the target area her mum looked at me with confused eyes and I knew then that stunt would not be well received.

People tell me I should be grateful he is not mobile and I should make the most of the fact he stays where I leave him. I know they are right but I can't help thinking I don't want him to be left behind.

I console myself that perhaps he is just ahead of the game and the clever little sausage has just cottoned on to the fact that if he stays put things will be brought to him, so why bother moving.

Yes - that's it, he may not be the most active, but my goodness he's bright!

4:10pm Tuesday 18th March 2008

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