IT IS a sad fact that the honeymoon period at the start of a relationship doesn't last forever.
Of course, we all know this is the case - but that doesn't stop it from coming as a bit of a surprise when it actually happens.
Sometimes it can be a good thing. That moment of enlightenment when you realise that the supposedly strong, silent type bloke you have been dating isn't actually deep, he just has nothing of interest to say, can't come too soon.
OK, it might result in you deciding to bring the relationship to a rather dramatic end but that's better than it limping on if it's all a bit pointless.
But in other situations it can be hard to see what the upside is.
This has certainly been the case for Faith. She's been totally loved up for a few months with her new bloke who seems to be equally into her.
advertisement
So, particularly as she's the confident sort, it came as a bit of a surprise to her when she found the green-eyed monster creeping in.
"I think when you first start dating someone you really like, you're so pleased to be with them absolutely nothing bothers you," she says.
"But give it a month or two and you kind of move out of the I can't believe this is happening to me' stage and into the this is real'stage, and then things can suddenly bug you.
"That's what happened to me this weekend. Before my boyfriend started seeing me he slept with one of his housemates.
"He wasn't interested so things got a bit awkward between them and she was going to move out. He told me this on about our second date. I appreciated him being honest and it didn't bother me because obviously you can't do much about what your man did before he was with you.
"However, she has now decided not to move out and for some reason this weekend I got a bit neurotic and wanted reassurance. I talked to him about it and he was very sweet and said I was entitled to be a bit neurotic.
"It was a funny moment that made me a little bit too emotional for my own comfort. I've never been very good at expressing emotion to blokes - especially negative emotion like jealousy - it's the downside of being so darn proud."
May thinks the end of the honeymoon period can be a good thing.
She says: "In an earlier relationship, I hadn't really liked the guy very much when I first met him as he seemed to be a bit of a nerd. Somehow (I think that I was bored at the time) I managed to get into a relationship with him and, during the honeymoon period, he appeared to be the kindest and most thoughtful of people. However, when the rosy glow period ended, I realised my first impression had been accurate - he was a total nerd.
"With my current long-standing relationship I didn't enjoy the early stages very much. I was afraid to be myself, wouldn't say what I really felt about things and felt uncomfortable about all sorts of things such as using the bathroom while he was in the house.
"Once the honeymoon period had worn off, I became much more relaxed and, therefore, much more at home both with myself and my partner. I don't think you really get to know someone until after you have entered this second phase of a relationship and then you just have to decide whether you still want to carry on being with this person, warts and all, or whether to get out while the going is good."
I think May's point about her current partner is worth hanging onto if you're mourning the passing of the hearts-and-flowers honeymoon period.
Even if you're not walking on eggshells with your new love, the reason why the honeymoon period is so great is because it's not real.
When that phase comes to an end it's because you've got to know the person in question better. You've stopped putting them on a pedestal and stopped trying to be perfect yourself.
This may result in the relationship coming to an end if you're not right for each other or to it moving onto the next, more committed stage if you are. And whether you're getting out of a pointless relationship or further into a worthwhile one, that's got to be good news.
If you liked this article and would like to share it with others on the web who might be searching for good content we've made it easy for you to do it.
At the bottom of all articles, you'll see links to six sites. These sites - commonly called 'social bookmark' or 'social news' sites - have large communities of web users who share and rate interesting, useful and fun things on the web.
Clicking the links will automatically add the address of the story you are reading to one of these sites, letting you share it with others. Each site will ask you to register to share stories. Registration is free and once a member, you can store, recommend and search for stories that interest you.
Print
Email this