Hold on tight to your glass, honey I'm about to rock your world.

SPEED-DATING is one of those new words entering the common lexicon, like Google, Facebook and iPod. The difference is that the latter three don't remind me how incredibly unsuccessful I am with women.

As speed-dating has become more common, it has shed the stigma attached to personal ads and dating agencies. Thanks to Jacqui Couzens and Steve Crossley of Slow Dating, I got the chance to try out this new craze that has revolutionised romance in the modern age.

In the weeks leading up to the event I imagined myself charming a selection of lovelies who would barely be able to drag themselves away after four minutes of my silver-tongued charms.

However, it was a far more timorous lothario who arrived at the Fruit Bar in Southampton, with a lump in my throat but still determined to research this subject for Single in the City's beloved readership.

As I sat on a sofa nervously sipping a pint and waiting for the bar to fill up, my initial fears re-emerged - what if the group is entirely made up of ugly desperados and handsome journalists doing research?

The photographer arrived at 7pm to take some pictures, although images of my recent waxing have convinced me that my beauty relies on constant motion.

This flurry of activity obviously prompted questions from my fellow singletons.

I did momentarily consider saying: "Oh, don't worry about that, I'm just very famous."

Having admitted my journalistic status to the few people in the bar we watched more people enter the venue with the same wide-eyed look of fear and trepidation.

With 19 women and 20 men standing awkwardly on different sides of the room, the scene resembled a school disco until the event eventually got underway.

Approaching my first potential mate, I nervously mumbled something about her having pretty elbows before falling into a comfortable conversation.

My courtship of the other women was received with varying degrees of success and tolerance but at least I didn't have to fall back on emergency small talk which would have included: "Normally when I spend four minutes with a woman it's the best four minutes of her life . . . how's it going so far?"

The evening was nowhere near as cringe-worthy as I had expected and most people were able to remain civil for the full four minutes.

All participants were given a notepad to record the names of people they liked and make comments, although many feared those sat opposite them would be able to read their notes.

My tenuous grasp of shorthand came in handy as I could write comprehensive notes on any personal defects I saw in others without fear of reprisal.

I remember jotting down useful nuggets such as: "Low self-esteem, will probably be grateful for a few crumbs of affection."

One minor irritation was a cretin a few tables away from me who seemed to do nothing but tell women that I was a journalist in a slightly scandalised tone.

Quite why he had inserted the employment of a stranger he had just met into his grade A pulling material I cannot say.

Somehow I resisted the temptation to fly into a rage as I thought shrieking at a fellow participant might not be considered an attractive quality.

It is impossible to say how much damage he did to my chances but of the 17 women who have logged their choices to date, I have had four ticks and a match with a red hot fox so I have to consider the night a great success.

Visit slowdating.com to find out more about speed-dating events in your area.

4:03pm Tuesday 13th May 2008

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